I’m pretty sure that if I crawled into the shiny-bright, luxurious offices of Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, or any of the other big Wall Street banks on my hands and knees I wouldn’t have a chance in Hell of getting any of them to loan me a dime. Not this year or any other year; past, or future. That’s probably true for 90% of the U.S. population and for 99.9% of the world’s population. Do you think these bankers suspect there might be a little resentment by the U.S. taxpayers about the bailout? Probably not , or if they do have some inkling of this, they probably don’t care anyway. That’s because there is really only one constituency they, and our present government, care about anyway: the people of China.
At last count, the population of China was over 1.3 billion people, i.e. China outnumbers the U.S. four to one. These Chinese resources, oops – I mean people, are as valuable to the U.S. businesses as Arab oil is to our “energy” companies. Remember about twenty years ago how most U.S. businesses changed the name of their “personnel departments” to “human resources”? A real change came over our nation some time ago, it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when, but it was reflected in our use of language. Our businesses started feeling odd about having departments made up of “people”. It made them uncomfortable. Maybe it made everything too personal. So American employees changed from being people and became “resources”, like oil or money. This depersonalization made it easier for Big Business to think of people as commodities that can be bought and sold, acquired and disposed of, without feeling guilt about actually affecting someone’s life.As they say, “it’s not personal, it’s business”.
The human resources of China are astounding. They are hardworking, they work very, very cheap, and they don’t complain. They don’t agitate for safer working conditions, they know their place in life, and they are conveniently far away and out of sight. They are infinitely better than troublesome, noisy, complaining workers who are always asking for more benefits, like health insurance and time off to go to their kid’s baseball game. The solution for American business, of course, in so many ways, was to outsource as many of our jobs to these unnamed resources in China. Our multinational companies have made billions by getting these resources to make all the things we buy with our credit cards. Hell, they even make the credit cards. We, of course, used our credit cards to buy everything because we didn’t have enough cash. That’s because we hardly made enough money to pay our adjustable rate mortgages, let alone our adjustable rate credit cards.
It all had to end sometime, I guess. Eventually too many of us ran out of credit cards that still had an available credit balance on them that could be used to pay the minimum payments due on all the other credit cards. Then the whole absurdity really started cascading downward with the collapse of the U.S. toxic housing market pyramid scheme. It was about this time that the bankers of Wall Street, who wouldn’t normally give either you or me the snot from their noses, turned to their golf buddies in the insurance business. They told them that “now” would be a good time for them to pay off on the insurance policies they had purchased to cover the loans they had made to the ordinary, everyday, cutthroat banks who had made real estate loans to the American peasant masses.
Imagine the surprise on the faces of Messrs. Goldman, Sachs, Morgan, Stanley, and the other blue bloods of Wall Street when they learned, to their abject horror, that their insurance policies (also known as “credit default swaps” so no ordinary person could figure out what they were really for) didn’t actually cover all of their losses. You see, the insurance companies are really the same thing as big time Las Vegas gamblers. They don’t really ever have enough money to cover everyone’s losses at the same time (just ask any homeowner who ever survived a big hurricane, like Hurricane Andrew), insurance companies, like AIG, plan on only a very small number of claims ever actually being filed. Guess what Wall Street nobility?? Ooopsie!!
Getting back to our unnamed, and barely human, resources in China, it turns out that the noblemen of Wall Street, the princes and earls of our elite society, didn’t actually have enough of their own money to lend to all the cutthroat banks either. They are, after all, not THAT rich. So they borrowed a lot of that money. A lot of money, most of it came – at extremely low interest rates – from the top dogs who oversee the Chinese human resources. It was a lot of money. Lots and lots of money. More money than the mafia has.
These are the same Chinese top dogs the U.S. had to turn to in order to finance the Iraq War because we don’t have enough money ourselves to wage that kind of endless war either. The thing to take away from this is that we owe China one helluva lot of money.
And now, as the earls and princes of Wall Street stand by in abject horror and their golf buddies in the government cover their aghast mouths with hankies and make strange gurgling noises, they all know one thing: if these last two remaining financial institutions on Wall Street melt into cute little golden rivulets that flow softly away into the sewers of New York, somebody in China is going to be very unhappy. Very, very unhappy. You know what I mean paisan?
Someone in China is going to be wondering what happened to the trillions of dollars that he lent in good faith to the demented sharpies of Wall Street. This unhappy camper controls 1.3 billion people, and he has nuclear weapons. He has a slew of intercontinental ballistic missiles, and just completed a space walk equivalent to the Apollo program. This unhappy camper also fabricates most of the stuff we buy because we shut down all our factories and outsourced everything to the faceless, uncomplaining Chinese resources. We are totally dependent on this Chinese top dog.
A few days ago, our President and Secretary of the Treasury looked us in the eye and, voices choked with fear, they quakingly told us to be afraid, be very afraid. We should be. Our King Bush II has told us peasants that we have no choice but to bail out the earls and princes of Wall Street and save their gold from melting. It’s all for the good of us peasants, they say. “Peasants to the rescue!” They even have an a plan anointed by Congress. It goes like this: they’ll give some of our money right away to the princes and earls because their treasuries are running dry. But, don’t worry peasants, they won’t give them everything they asked for! We are being protected. Instead of buying all of Wall Street’s rotten trash, also known as toxic mortgages, the government will instead merely insure a lot of these mortgages.The U.S. government is going to insure mortgages for Wall Street!
Insure the mortgages?!? Can you believe it? The U.S. government is going to issue Credit Default Swaps to Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley, and we peasants are going to fund the whole thing because we are terrified of what will happen if we tell China that they have to eat the losses! These credit default swaps are one of the main reasons the whole financial world is crumbling down around us and now, in the eleventh hour, the U.S. Government wants to play the game too??? This is the ultimate solution??
This sounds like government by The Three Stooges, doesn’t it? The only thing I wonder is who are the real stooges here? Any ideas? Any ideas?
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